


The Hero Within You

by serenesavagery (windrunnerdreamer)



Series: Adolin Speardancer and Kaladin Kholin [5]
Category: Stormlight Archive - Brandon Sanderson
Genre: Gen, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Sibling Bonding, Sibling Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-28
Updated: 2019-10-28
Packaged: 2021-01-05 12:33:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,380
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21208604
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/windrunnerdreamer/pseuds/serenesavagery
Summary: "Broken...and noble. I choose him." The spren whispered to herself as she watched him.Watched him mourn his dead mother.Watched him defend his little brother from their father.Watched him bear the brunt of other's mocking.Watched him beat up men threatening his little brother.She nodded. Her choice was a good one.Now if only she could rid him of the Shards- he'd be perfect.





	The Hero Within You

Kaladin scowled as they buried his mother, rubbing at his eyes. 

Stupid Stormfather. Couldn't make it rain when it counted. 

The day of his mother's burial was very much like his mother herself- bright and sunny. 

Kaladin _hated _it. Stupid rain couldn't come when the day was pretty much crem. 

He looked at his father, whose hard face was unreadable.

_"He could burn an entire city in the name of retribution. But he couldn't protect Mother from an assassin." _Kaladin thought bitterly. 

Renarin hadn't stopped crying and Kaladin only tightened his hold over his baby brother. 

_**"Don't cry, Ren. Mother would not want us to be sorrowful for the whole of our lives." **_ Kaladin whispered, in Riran. 

Renarin sobbed harder. "B-b-but, she's, she's not coming back! She's not _coming back, Kal_!" Renarin cried in a choked out voice, in Alethi and Kaladin pursed his lips. 

Those prim Alethi people had pressurised them into forgetting they had a Riran mother and therefore, they frowned whenever Kaladin and Renarin spoke in Riran. 

Father included. 

Though they looked at Renarin as if he were an anomaly, and Kaladin hated it. 

So what if Renarin had a few locks of blonde hair? Riran had blonde hair. Alethi had limited intelligence. It was as it was. 

Kaladin envied Renarin for being able to have even a bit of Mother with him everyday. 

All Kaladin had was Mother's chain, something Father was kind enough to retrieve from the battlefield. 

Uncle Gavilar was comforting the both of them, but Kaladin took no heed of it. 

Nothing could _ever_ replace Mother. 

And Kaladin let himself cry. 

* * *

"Stop burning it." Dalinar growled at Renarin, who shrunk away from the incense. 

Kaladin clenched his jaw. How _dare _Father speak to Renarin that way? 

Kaladin wasn't an idiot. Father didn't even consider Renarin a son. 

Too weak. Too much of an invalid. Too much like Mother. 

Kaladin had heard Father muttering these when he was drunk to his breeches, which he was, these days, and it had taken all the self control in his body to stop himself from punching Dalinar right then and there. 

"_You_ stop being an imbecile." Kaladin snapped at Dalinar, walking up to Renarin and holding him protectively. 

Renarin held on to Kaladin as if he were his lifeline and Kaladin's heart broke at the look on his little brother's face. 

It filled him with even more anger against Dalinar. 

Dalinar narrowed his eyes. "_What_ did you just say?" 

"For you to stop being an imbecile. If he wants to remember Mother, let him. At least _he_ can function just fine unlike a certain someone who thinks drinking and forgetting is the way of a soldier." Kaladin says smoothly, enjoying the way his father's face reddened like a Horneater's hair. 

"Come on, Ren. We clearly are _not_ wanted here." Kaladin said, standing up and helping up his brother, leaving the room. 

Renarin looked at him with hesitant fright and Kaladin smiled at him to keep his fears at rest. 

"Come on. We can go to Jasnah. Think she'll tell us about that idiot of a NanKhet?" Kaladin asked, punching his little brother's arm in a friendly manner as they walked to the library. 

Renarin's eyes brightened though he still looked frightened. 

"Ren..." Kaladin trailed off, sighing. 

"Please don't make Father angry." Renarin said softly. 

Kaladin pursed his lips. "First he can stop treating us like we're crem. Then we can care about his feelings." Kaladin said, blandly. 

Renarin looked down at his feet. "Father's just mourning." 

"Do you believe that?" Kaladin asked softly, tears stinging his eyes at the love Renarin showed for their father. 

The love Dalinar never deserved. 

Renarin swallowed a growing lump. "Mother told us...that he was the only honest officer in the army. The honorable soldier. A man greater than the king himself." He said, his voice shaky. 

Kaladin coughed, tears rolling down his eyes. 

_"I want to believe that too, Renarin. Storms, I want to. More than you could even imagine. I want to believe what Mother said was right. More than anything in the world. I want to believe that he is a good man." _Kaladin thought to himself as he held his brother's hand tightly, as if it were the only thing real in this world of scheming shadows. 

So small, Renarin was...but so much stronger and so much more loving than Kaladin could hope to be. 

But he couldn't believe in what Mother had said. His father was not the man their mother described him to be. That was the truth, and Kaladin hated himself for seeing it. 

Only Kaladin knew how many nights his mother had gone to bed weeping about Father. 

It made Kaladin cry more. 

"Don't cry." Renarin said softly. He was much shorter than his growing brother, but somehow, he reached up and wiped the tears from his brother's eyes. 

Kaladin chuckled roughly. "Some big brother I am. _I'm_ supposed to protect you. Wipe your tears. Look after you. But here you are." He said in a hoarse voice, crying even harder. 

Renarin hugged him. "Don't say that. Don't say that, you idiot. You're the best big brother _ever_." He whispered fiercely. 

Kaladin sobbed into his little brother's shoulder as Renarin whispered words of love and affection into his ears and before he knew it, the strain of having done so closed his eyes.

Jasnah later found them sleeping outside the library and with fondness in her eyes, she carried them to her quarters, placed them on the sofa and put a blanket over them. 

She would have words with Father about this- Dalinar couldn't just not look after his sons. 

* * *

“Hey, Ren.”

Renarin didn’t say anything- it didn’t make a difference with his big brother.

“Please don’t tell me you went to the bar again.”

Renarin swallowed with difficulty and turned to face his brother standing at the door.

Kaladin Kholin could keep a straight face if all the rocks in Roshar were thrown at him. He could keep a straight face if a woman slapped him. He could keep a straight face for his men.

All those were okay.

But him, standing at the door and weeping like the rain?

Standing there, and having tears roll down his cheeks…

Renarin found himself shaking.

Somehow or the other, Kaladin was holding him, fiercely whispering words of love.

“Renarin, you’re stronger than this. I know you are. You’re so much better than our sorry excuse for a father says you are-"

“He’s just tired.” Renarin finds himself saying softly.

Kaladin was _lying_. That wasn’t what Mother said. It just wasn’t.

Kaladin looked at him, his face confused, hurt and sad. “Ren?”

But Kaladin wouldn't lie to him. Kaladin loved him. 

That was the only thing Renarin was sure of, in this world where people whispered darkness and faked smiles of light. 

“He’s fought such a big war. Lost Mother. He’s just hurt.” Renarin said, trying hard not to cry.

Kaladin’s eyes flashed with anger. But not at him.

Kaladin was never angry with Renarin. That’s why he was safe, all the time, a part of his mind whispered.

_**“So are we! He’s not the only one who lost Mother! We lost her too! And we’re the ones who know how much that’s gonna hurt because we’re the ones who actually cared for her!”**_ Kaladin shouted, this time in Riran.

Renarin shut his eyes.

Kaladin hugged his brother tighter, but not enough to be suffocating.

Renarin felt safe, for the first time in weeks.

Safe enough to actually cry.

Kaladin only rubbed his back, holding him tenderly.

* * *

Kaladin knew the bar Father frequented. 

The bar Renarin went to, to get wine for their storming useless father. 

Not because he had followed them, most certainly not. 

But he was going to put an end to this, Kaladin thought angrily as he sheathed his side sword and side knife. 

Kaladin ignored the mutterings of the people in the bar as he walked to the owner, behind the table, and slammed a fist on the table. 

The owner, a pot bellied Alethi man, stared at him before gaping. 

"P-P-Prince Kaladin?" 

Kaladin narrowed his eyes. "Anyone tell you it's illegal to sell bottles of wine to underaged youngsters?" Kaladin asked calmly, leaning in closer. 

The owner started sweating. "I-I don't, k-know what you're talking about sir-" 

Kaladin grabbed the man by the collar roughly. "Don't lie to me! You've sold wine to Prince Renarin, haven't you?" 

The owner trembled. "The kid begged me! You know what your father is like!" 

Kaladin sneered. "Don't pretend like you acted out of fear. You just wanted to earn a sphere or two. If your business was all hush hush, why bother? Well, guess what- next time I find you've sold wine to my brother, or if you try threatening him, my father isn't who you have to be scared about. It's _me_. Get it, friend?" Kaladin asked, his voice low. 

The owner trembled. 

"_Do you understand?_" Kaladin hissed, narrowing his eyes. 

The owner squeaked out in the affirmative. 

"Good." Kaladin said simply, letting go of the owner roughly and walking out. 

The whispers that nettled him the most as he walked out were the ones that told him of how much like his father he was. 

_"The Prince is growing up to be a mirror image of the Blackthorn." _

_"Did you see that? It was like the Blackthorn himself was here!" _

"I wouldn't be setting out to get wine if I were you." Kaladin said blandly, as Renarin creeped out of their shared bedroom at midnight that day. 

Renarin froze. 

"The bar won't open to you anyway." Kaladin grunted before sleeping. 

Little did Kaladin realize how easier he had made Renarin's problems that night. 

That night, Kaladin felt a warm weight settle against his back, legs wrapped around his ankles and arms wrapped around his torso, reminding him of Mother. 

Involuntarily, he smiled into his pillow and held the little hands. 

* * *

Kaladin clicked his tongue in disgust as he heard the sound of his father roaring like a chained axehound at the realization there was no more wine. 

Renarin cringed, but Kaladin held his hand. 

"Stay here for me, please. I'll look after Father." Kaladin said comfortingly. 

Renarin's eyes were pleading. "Please don't hurt him." 

Kaladin kissed his little brother's forehead. "I'll try not to. Much." He said, squeezing his little brother's hand before leaving. 

He took a deep breath as he entered the room, clenching his jaw as he saw his father ransacking the wardrobe. 

"_Enough!_" Kaladin roared, and his father froze before glaring at him like a Voidbringer. 

"_You_." Dalinar grit out, sneering at him, angerspren pooling around him. 

"We heard the commotion outside, sir. Thought you might want some help." Kaladin drawled, itching to punch his father. 

"I need _NOTHING! GET OUT, YOU VOIDBRINGER!" _Dalinar screamed before throwing a vase at Kaladin, who widened his eyes at the thing flying for him before stepping to the side, blinking at the broken fragments. 

_"WhatdidIdotoFather?Whydoeshehatemesomuch?Thisisn'tthefirsttimehethrewstuffatme-" _

Kaladin shut his mind. What happened to him was minor and trivial compared with the way this man treated Renarin. 

And Mother. 

He grit his jaw. "Storming axehound- you didn't deserve Mother." Kaladin muttered, walking up to the man and holding him in a headlock. 

Dalinar growled and tried to get himself free, but Kaladin had locked one of his legs around his father's waist. 

Despite this, Kaladin knew he had very little time- his father was much stronger than he was. 

"Your mother was a _storming fool_." Dalinar spat out, and at those words, Kaladin saw red. 

_"How dare he."_

"Yes she was! For marrying someone as incompetent as you!" Kaladin yelled, kicking his father's upper abdomen. 

It should have made him unconscious, but Dalinar was much more well trained than Kaladin and it only resulted in Dalinar sagging a little from exhaustion. 

"You don't even know what storming happened." Dalinar coughed out, looking ragged. 

"I know enough." Kaladin said coldly, letting go of his father. 

His father sagged down to the ground on both knees, back to Kaladin. 

"I know that you couldn't protect her, for all that she believed in you." Kaladin whispered, clenching his jaw. 

Dalinar flinched as if slapped. 

"Wh-what...what did she say? About me?" Dalinar asked, finally. 

Kaladin didn't say anything. _Now_ he wanted to know, after having called her a fool? 

"Ask Renarin. He was the only one who listened." Kaladin snapped, walking out.

He met Renarin outside, who was listening in anxiety. 

"Father didn't mean to hurt you-" Renarin said hurriedly, but Kaladin put a hand on his brother's shoulder. 

"I'm not hurt. He wants to talk to you." Kaladin said softly, his voice gentle. 

He knew how much Renarin loved their father. 

And he knew how much his father hurt _him_. 

He never knew why his father hurt him. 

Seconds later, Kaladin heard his father weeping. 

_"Your brother hates me. You should too."_ Dalinar wept out, and Kaladin's throat constricted. 

_"Brother doesn't hate you. He thinks you hate him." _Renarin was saying quietly. 

Kaladin chuckled sardonically. 

_"HehatesmeHehatesme-"_

Kaladin frowned, forcing the voice to shut up.

_"No. He hates me. As he should. Why don't you hate me? Why do you listen to those fanciful tales she told of me? Be like your brother. See the monster I am, Renarin!" _Dalinar sobbed, and Kaladin closed his eyes, folding his arms. 

Was it true? 

_"Brother loves you. I know he does." _

Kaladin stopped his tears from falling. 

Lately, all he could do was cry. 

That's what he had done since Mother died, anyway. 

* * *

"Honestly, if there's a bottle hidden in this palace anywhere, that drunken fool will find it." Elhokar said imperiously, smirking at Kaladin. 

Kaladin grit his jaw, clenching his fists. "Honestly, if _I_ had to search for a whiny weakling anywhere, I don't have to go far- there's one standing right in front of me!" Kaladin snapped, narrowing his eyes at Elhokar. 

Elhokar flinched as if he had been slapped.

"That's enough! Both of you hold your tongues. Apologize to each other!" Gavilar snapped and Kaladin clicked his tongue. 

"I'll apologize when I have nothing better to do. No offence, Uncle." Kaladin said, walking away. 

"Why do _you _look down on Dalinar, then?" Elhokar shouted from there as Kaladin stopped at the door. 

Kaladin turned to look at him.

"I don't look down on him. I look down on what he does recently as of late. Whatever happens, that man is my father. Whatever happened, I can't deny he's united this kingdom, however bloody. You however, are a different story. If he is your enemy, it won't bode well for you and you should have the wisdom to comprehend that." Kaladin said coolly. 

Kaladin smirked as Elhokar's ears burnt red and angerspren flew beside him. 

He wasn't grinning for long however- remembering that he would have to endure the same kind of talk, far more crass, from the other soldiers. 

* * *

_Seven years later, during the Everstorm_

"You are strong, Kaladin. Men look up to you. People think you're incredible." 

Kaladin stared at the little spren who called herself Sylphrena on his palm, glowing like a beacon of blue light. 

"I am none of those things, little spren." Kaladin said, shaking his head.

He wasn't. He storming wasn't. 

"But you are! I know you are, Kaladin! That's why I came!" The little spren said, earnestly. 

Kaladin trembled. "You...You've got the wrong person- I'm none of those things!" He shouted, even as slaughter happened all over him. 

The spren gave him a look- something he hadn't even known was possible. 

"I'm honorspren. Spren of oaths and honor. If there's anyone who has honor, I know it's you. I came all the way here, to search for someone who has honor and it's you. _I _see the hero within you, Kaladin." The spren said solemnly, glowing even brighter. 

Kaladin widened his eyes. "W-what have you come to _me_ for?" He asked incredulously, shaking uncontrollably. 

"So that you can say the Words, Kaladin. You know them." The spren said, gravely. 

Kaladin felt _frightened_\- something he hadn't felt since Renarin had charged in to save Father from the chasmfiend. Something he hadn't felt since the Tower. 

What if he....men could break their oaths and Kaladin was no exception. 

Suddenly he thought of Renarin. 

_"I know you can beat him, Brother. I know you can." _

_"You're going to finish Sadeas once and for all." _

_"Brother, you're the one of the strongest heroes of Alethkar I've known. And Jasnah's told me plenty of them. So take my word for it." _

_"You're the best big brother ever!" _

_"You're not weak in the face of rain, brother. You're the strongest person I know. You still fight, even if the rain robs you of your mind. And that's why you're incredible." _

This spren was just like Renarin...believing in him even when he didn't deserve that belief...

This spren reminded him of Renarin, sweet Renarin who always believed in him, who always brightened his days. 

A glimmer of resolve burnt within him. 

He would do this. 

He knew those words. Of course he did. How could he not? 

"Life before death." Kaladin whispered, closing his eyes. 

> The life he had experienced before Mother's death.
> 
> The life one experiences to the fullest, before changing oneself to accept death. 
> 
> The resolve he had in himself- protect the ones who lived. Then remember the dead.

"Strength before weakness." 

> Be strong before you let yourself to be weak. 
> 
> True strength is to admit your weakness before denying it.
> 
> A form you experience, must experience, in the face of weakness. 

"_Journey before destination._" 

> Think about the journey in front of you rather than the destinations that lay ahead.
> 
> The journey will continue. As long as you remember it before the destination.
> 
> The journey is what makes the destination worth it.

He distantly heard the Parshendi screaming. 

_"Neshua Kadal! Neshua Kadal!" _

Kaladin felt power like none before, and when he opened his eyes, he saw Light streaking out from him, blue and pure. 

He then saw Sylphrena standing before him, fully sized, grinning. 

"I knew it! I _knew_ you could do it! You've still got a lot more but I'm _sure _you're gonna be a great Windrunner-" 

"How about we discuss that later? I recall that we have a huge Voidbringer army to defeat." Kaladin said dryly, quelling his excitement at the power in him. 

Syl only blew a raspberry but remained silent. 

* * *

"Whoa!" Adolin said, grinning. 

Shallan's eyes were shining with happiness. 

Dalinar widened his eyes. 

Renarin only grinned and hugged his brother, laughing.

"We're _Radiant_ brothers!" Renarin shouted, grinning into Kaladin's chest. 

"Oh, storms. That was awful." Kaladin said dryly, but he was grinning too as he pat his younger brother on the back. 

He then gave Shallan a pointed look even as he hugged Renarin. "Don't _you_ start-"

Shallan smiled innocently. "I was just thinking-" 

"By Vev, here we go." Kaladin muttered, but he was smiling. 

"We would look _radiant _on our wedding!" 

"Oh, Kelek." But Kaladin smiled at Shallan, beautiful and wonderful. 

Renarin laughed. He then smiled at the shine in his brother's eyes. 

Stormfather...it was nice to see his brother happy. 

He then glanced at his father, whose pride showed in his face and slight smile. 

And it....it made him happy, Kaladin thought in surprise. The pride his father showed...

He could see it then, in that moment, what his mother said, and he squeezed his eyes shut, unable to fully bear that happiness within him. 

"That's...five Radiants then." Dalinar said, his smile only for Kaladin and Renarin. 

"How long, son?" Dalinar asked, looking at Kaladin. 

Kaladin started before blushing in embarrassment. "Ah. Actually, just half an hour ago, I think." 

Adolin laughed. "You're the baby Radiant, then." 

Kaladin rolled his eyes. "No, I'm not. _You're_ the child, if anything." 

"I think Father is the baby Radiant. He became an official Radiant much later than you." Renarin whispered and Kaladin chuckled. 

"Huh."

Kaladin may not know much- but he knew this was only the beginning of a long, messy road. 

At least he had family to share it with. 

**Author's Note:**

> Truth be told, Kaladin's actions here reminded me of a Stoneward's, not a Windrunner. You know, because, Dependability? But I didn't want to be factually incorrect by inventing spren and rules for Stoneward surges, so yeah.  
Sometimes, his actions are also kind of Willshapery? Or is it that I have too much perceptions of the same thing? Haha, I don't know, man.  
Also, Protecting and Leading ARE indeed what Kaladin does here, to an extent, so yeah.  
I did tell changes in plot would be a lot, honestly.
> 
> ALSO SPEAKING OF CHANGES IN PLOT, there's a rather major yet seemingly minor edit I've made as of 7th November, 6 AM IST.


End file.
